Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize