Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize