you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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