you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
