Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
