glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
