Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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