I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
