he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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