her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
