Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
