Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
