So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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