If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
