just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
