"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
