Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
