One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
