I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
