ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
