i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
