In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
