But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
