we have officially lost it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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