just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
