Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
