Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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