I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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