apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
