My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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