How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
