Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
