Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
