she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
