dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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