I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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