Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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