1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
