Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
worst night to have a conscience
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
