at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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