Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found puke in my bra..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
