fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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