"it" just moved
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
