ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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