I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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