You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
