I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
