dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My vagina just clenched in fear
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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