discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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