So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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