If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize