I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
