Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i think i have two assholes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
