Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
