I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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