Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
