told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
