Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
