I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
